Some form of complete and utter insanity
by Sooperlooper
Summary: Yeah
1. Don't ask me

Sincere warning: This has no plot and is not related by any means to any thing (s). Got it? No? Oh well… The thing is that this whole story is mostly unrelated to what happened in the last chapter but is extremely unrelated to what happened in the last 2 or 3 or 4 and at the maximum 5 sentences ago. Now got it? Still no? Well, I tried…

Harry was walking down stuff when blah blah blah he was killed and he came back to life muttering why cheese cake was horrible because his thumb was hurting as life eaters came up to him to not do anything in particular but to eat his death which did not exsist since he was 13 but when everything was lost there was a glitter of blinding light which made everything go dark since it damaged all of their eyes lenses which made them see light but then Voldemort sought Harry for no good creature (?) and then when all was found everything was solved as they drank coca cola for tea and than killed each other and did a very good job but still failed at it so they cried till everything was wet and sticky and humanity swam for the rest of their life but as this was humaniating or humaneatory they rested in peace at their homes as Voldemort killed himself but Harry felt his pain so Voldemort did not die so he hugged Voldemort but strangled him in the process so VoLLedoermt attacked Harry but spelt his name wrong and was using incorrect grammer so he went back and fixed it (Voldemort) but died because of his uneducation at Hogwarts but still he attacked Harry and still Harry ate pepperoni pizza with no anchovies as death was drained by lifelines which was deathly life as the death vomitors got from eating life of eater vomitor's life began to be humiliated. But that was the end of the end of the fighting so Voldemort shot living killing spells at Harry but dodged them so the death vomitors swallowed it and it was living death so they decided that they should listen to music which was so good that Harry thought it was good but he did not care for cheese so he bcame spuer spelor man woo culd not spel. So he became once again 'the boy who lived dying by Voldemort who attacks Harry at this very moment if this was correct' and so Voldemort attacked the stereo and Harry ran for cover as everything was a different shade of icecream muller which was a trying to be ryming as englis ish a language not a type of sublimative eradicational solution (By the way, did you know that water is liquid? Cool huh? I learnt that many years ago like you did so that is why I am not stating this) so they all drank malted tea with ice cream which made them sick so they all went home and drank more malted tea as the lifelivineess of deathlineesirtty creates cavities so that is something of purposes so in a confusion intrusion they all decided to have a good night sleep while they dreamed of bunnies, liveliness and deathliness.

OMG! Are you people still alive? Are you? Huh? Huh? Do I get your computer if you're dead? Please…………… oh crap. Well why are you still here? The mental asylum is only a ten minutes walk away from where someone lives which I hope is you and well… oh forget.

By the way; Clowns are cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool!

Note: I living does not come by hard work and perseverance, it comes from perspiration.


	2. Pirates! I think

Ok here we go again, I think. Don't ask me what's going on.

PS at the beginning: The sentence rule does not apply for this chapter.

"Arrrrg" screamed Scallywag the pirate "Ahhhh" screamed his first mate Blackbeard. "We are the best pirates arren't wre?" (we. I have got do the pirate thing, hey don't ask me, I just take the orders) said Scallywag. "You bet your, ahem, you bet yer life we are!" said Blackbeard. '"Wow they are said Hermione"' said Harry' said Ron. "We need ter get goin!" said Scallywag. "Right you are" Said Blackbeard. "So get me the telescope!" Said Scallywag. "We can't, sir, you killed ol' billy with it" Said Blackbeard. "He didn't say Collin creevey killing penguins. "Oh dats right" chuckled Scallywag "Well get me my gun" "Wilson uh Willyson stole it, besides what do you need a gun fer anyways **sir**" said Blackbeard putting extra emphases on the sir. "Well I don' really know but we are pirates after all" "Yes of course" said Blackbeard with inner sarcasm. "I agree" said Lockhart (?). "And as fer that Willyson, make him walk the plank." "Uh sir, we don't have a plank" Said Blackbeard. "Well then, make 'im jump of the ship" "But sir, we don' have a ship either." Said Blackbeard (I think you're beginning to get the general plot aren't ya. Huh uh? Come on, lets see some of those pearly whites, awwwwwww, aren't you adorable… PEOPLE OF EARTH, BEWARE I DON'T KNOW BUT STILL BWAHAHAHAHA (it suits me better with bwahahaha not mwahahaha cough, see what I mean, you might want to read an evil laugh manual, they sure are useful sometimes.)) "Well make him jump into our ocean" said Scallywag "But we don't have an ocean" said Blackbeard "Do we have anything?" asked Scallywag "Not really" said Blackbeard. "What!" screamed Scallywag "How can have nothing, we are pirates righ'?" "No sir. We aren't" "Oh" said Scallywag. He definitely did not expect this response. "Then why are we dressed like pirates?" Asked Scallywag "Because we are a couple of idiots" Said Blackbeard. "No we ain't, ev'y ones…" "Quit the pirate thing, its giving me a headache" said Blackbeard. "Ok, everyones doing pirates these days, its so like, hip, getting me?" "But…" Started Blackbeard but Scallywag interrupted "Yo dogg, are you hip to my jive soul brother, work!" Said Scallywag. "Oh brother" said Blackbeard slapping his face as Ron did the same. "Well anyways, what's wrong with being pirates?" said Scallywag. "Nothing, it's just the fact that we spent all our money on stupid pirate outfits" said Blackbeard. "What!" said Scallywag "You bought it" "Well you told me to get the most expensive and fancy outfit" said ol' Blackbeard. (Blackbeard: You are an idiot, and why did you have to call me Blackbeard, and don't give me that 'don't ask me, I just take the orders") "Well we can't be out of all our money" said Scallywag "Are you kidding!" said Blackbeard "I had to eat all the chips without tomato ketchup" "Oooh, nasty" Said Scallywag. "Well what are we supposed to do now **_SIR_**" Said Blackbeard putting utmost sarcasm into the word sir. (Blackbeard: Well not that much that you have to put sir in bold, italic, underlined and capital) "Uh I don' know, you don't suppose we could become pirates?" said Scallywag. "NOOOOOOO!" said Blackbeard. "Well lets do care bears!" suggested Scallywag but Blackbeard committed suicide but landed on a turtle, which took him to heaven, and he became a god of the Chinese world.

The end

"What the hell was the point of that!" said Ron as Hermione closed the book. (Yes people, it turned out this whole thing was a book, sigh, the things people like me will do for money) "Well" but Ron interrupted. "You call that literature! What the hell was the point of that." "Well it was a great comedy including tragedy, angst and adventure" said Hermione. "Are you mental!" screamed Ron. "That was none of those things you said, yes maybe it had a bit of romance but nothing else!" said Ron "Besides, does it even have a name?" asked Ron. "Well of course" said Hermione "Did you think it wouldn't?" said Hermione turning around the cover of the book but there was nothing there. Sighing Harry and Ron left while Hermione tried to find the title.

Ok, Don't ask me the point of that. The pirates were um, oh who cares. You just know that first it was about pirates who weren't really pirates, then it's a comedy, then it's a Chinese legend, and then it's just a book being read by Hermione. What do you think of that people? Here are a few points to consider:

Did it make sense?

Why did Hermione think it was literature?

Did it make sense?

Why were those people not pirates if they had pirate names?

Did it make sense?

If they had no money, where did Blackbeard get the money to buy the potatoes for the chips?

Did it make sense?

Why was it made a Chinese legend in the end?

Did it make sense?

Do you think I am sane?

Thank you and good day.


	3. Rrrrright

Wtf is this thing?! What kind of insane, demented, mentally challanged lunatic would even think of writing something like this? Don't look, at me like that, I didn't write it! Wait, I did, Damn.

Hello people, how are you. Are you, are you happy? If no, then: dgjhdg rdjh dees ruk tuk tuk tuk mukagakak mrim rima Arwen eir skdof ehqw Arwen. The sentence rule does not apply to this chapter either.

Harry, Ron and Hermione were in Lockhart's class studying stuff. When there was stuff. Hello, do you like candy, what is candy, do you know what candy, hi, who cares, well anyway. SO THE point is that I don't know the point really but then again, oh well.

Ok. So they were all studying when someone started flying around the room at 10000000000000000000000017258000000000024304235022 35214525729795722715251758158851415227011000000000 000000 miles per micro second. "Rrright" said Harry. "Rrright" said Ron. "What?" said the person.

"Well" said Lockhart "Its all the matter of rrright." Said Lockhart. "What!" said producer . me, him, whatever. "Rrright" said Ron "No!" said me, him, whatever. "Rrright" said Draco "Stop it!" said me, him, whatever. "Rrright" said everyone. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" "Stop it!" said me, him, whatever and then me, him, whatever starting causing havoc throughout the world and everyone said "Rrright" "But what about the sea gulls!" so me, him, whatever went to some sea gulls and fed them so much food that they took me, him, whatever back to wonderland. "Rrright" said Draco "Lets do that again!"

Harry and Draco were walking down a corridor when Voldemort attacked. "GLA BLA GLA BLA!11!111111!11!11" (_**I am too lazy**_ sorry, I am too lazy to push shift properly) said Voldemort. "RRright" said Draco. "Hey, that was the last paragraph" said Harry. "Oh sorry, I forgot. So you want to fight this creep or not?" said Harry. "Nah." Said Draco. "I've got to DO lunch" "RRight sorry, right. Lets go." Said Harry. "But, but you are supposed to be scared of me!" said Voldemort. "In your dreams freako" said Harry. "But, but…" said Voldemort now getting emotionally hurt. "Come on, lets go now" said Draco "I'm hungry, if you know wut I mean, hey hey hey!" "Rrright I mean ohhhkay. Lets go" said Harry. "But why aren't you so scared of me and everything?" said Voldemort sadly. "Because you are an Idiot and a moron." Replied Harry. "But I am the evil guy who this whole series is based on!" sobbed Voldemort. "Change of plans" said Harry with a cruel smile and suddenly his robes became all evil, if you know wut I mean, and his wand also became er evil he became evil and so on and so forth. "Don't hurt me!" shrieked Voldemort. "OH NO" said Harry and his voice and become all wavery and evil. "I WILL NOW PROCEED IN KILLING YOU! MWAHAHAAAAHAHAHA! AVADA KEDAMRA ER AVADA KEDUBRA UH THAT'S RIGHT! AVADA KEDAVRA! HA HA HA HA HA! DIE! DIE! DIE! HE HE HE HE! CURSE YOU MAGGOT! YOU ARE DONE FOR! BWAHAHAHAHA! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! RA HA HA HA! I AM KILLING YOU! CRUCIO! CRUCIO! AVADA KEDAVRA! YOU WILL DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!" Said Harry but Voldemort had already escaped in Harry's fit of screaming and shooting killing curses everywhere. "Right" said Harry becoming not evil again. "Lets go, I'm so hungry, and look at what happens when I became so hungry" said Harry. "I can totally relate" said Draco even though he couldn't and then went and did lunch, if you know wut I mean.

Now why was Harry with Draco. Draco the abnoxious and idiotic kid though certain female teenagers may disagree with me, if you know wut I mean, ok well um something.

Meanwhile: me, him, whatever is riding the seagull to wonderland. "I love bunnies!" said me, him, whatever and whatever.

Ok. The end, I think for it is all for the good of mankind as this all that of the all curtain and then I went for all that is good but is really a curtain but then again I do not get the point of this as I am not sure why I do this as I continue to put emphases on this end even though it does not really seem like it and anyway this is all pointless and pathetic activity based on advertising schemes as our sponsors use this time that it takes for you to read all this to advertise so do not be surprised if our sponsors, if you know wut I mean, come and advertise on your computer and then I will become rich and use that money to make a magico ray which will turn me, the common muggle into an extremely powerful wizard which will be able to anything I want and then I will make lots and lots of muggle money and then I will be so rich that I just will be rich! Thank you!

The end.


	4. THE MISSING LINK!

The sentence rule does not apply to this chapter either.

One day Harry was walking on the school grounds on a beautiful day. Do you know why people? Because **THIS IS ALL CONTEMPORARY!** I'm glad that's clear. On with the chicken fead (purposefully spelt wrong since it is a different thing) I mean chicken story. But before we start I have a joke.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: (giggle) to, (more giggles) to, to to get to the other side! HA HA HA!

While Harry Ron and Hermione were in the great hall they saw another kid sitting there. He had a bit of an apish look. "Who is he" said Ron "I don't know and I don't care" said Harry. Just then the kid came and started bugging them somehow. "Stop it twit?" said Ron. "Hey! Why was there a ? mark instead of an ! mark!" asked Ron "Ha ha ha!" screamed the kid and went away. "Just wait one minute!" said me, the producer.

Waits one minute.

"There were never meant to be mistakes in grammar thanks to him." "Well um" said the Narrator. "Give it up, you're busted man" said Ron "Yeah" agreed Harry "He just used that to cover him up and made us say those things." "Now how many times have I told you not to get involved in the story" Said me. "But I thought it is part of the story because you couldn't…"said the narrator. "Shut your big mouth and…" started me but the narrator interrupted "And isn't this also part of…" "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" and with that I threw him out of the building but it is the 8th floor so he dies and then I get arrested but I don't so this story continues.

"Well then" said Harry "Do you know what is up with that guy?" asked Harry. "No idea" said Ron having an idea. Just then the kid came up to Harry. "Why are you so weird?" said Harry. "Because Because I'm … **_THE MISSSING LINK!_**" DUM DUM DUUM! "What!" cried Hermione "What was that about" asked Draco and by the way, he screamed so loudly that everyone heard. "What?" asked Ron who apparently did not have a clue about **_THE MISSING LINK!_** "So um, er" said Harry who was almost as confused about what **_THE MISSING LINK! _**was. "So you are it" said Hermione. "What?" said the guy. "The um MISSIng Link!" said Hermione trying to get it correct. "Oh yes, you mean I am **_THE MISSING LINK!_**" "Yes yes" said Hermione. "The Uh MISSING LINK! thing. "Well I am **_THE MISSING LINK! _**And that is all I know" "Ok" said Hermione. "That's nice" "I have evolved throughout the ages and have become… **_THE MISSING LINK!_**" said the guy. "So you do know something" said Hermione. "Yeah, so you do know something. But why are you still alive?" asked and said Hermione or should I say said and asked Hermione because that is the proper order. "Because I am **_THE MISSING LINK!_**" screamed the guy. "Please don't shout that loudly!" said Hermione blocking her ears. "I can do whatever I want because I'm **_THE MISSING LINK!_**" screamed the guy. "That's it!" screamed Hermione and stormed out of the room. "That's nice, lets get pizza" said Ron who still didn't get **_THE MISSING LINK!_**

Thank goodness this is over. Enough of **_THE MISSING LINK!_**

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I am over the moon. But I didn't make it and died.

THE END!

You never know, there may be new chapters.


	5. Damn the mcdonalds computer is slow

The sentence rule does not apply in this chapter either, although I don't think there really are sentences, oh well…

Well here goes nothing.

Today I have some genuine poetry made in Switzerland and if you do not believe us I can issue you a passport to visit our factory using only top class materials roasted in delicious Mexican sauce till tender than packed to your perfection which can be served hot, cold and to your dog and, well, we are getting a bit of track so lets go.

Ahem, er Aghhhhhhhhhh! Choke splutter! (gets shifted of to hospital 'cause me, him whatever chocked on my, his whatever's own breath causing brain damage causing electromagnetic disruption in the brain causing these to send signals to the heart that me, him, whatever was going to have a heart attack.)

Ok. I seriously think we have to do this um what do you call, again…

Well here we go again.

Hello.

We were lost in wild moor

While there was, Oh forget I quit!

That went nicely, not!

Anyway…

I forgot, now what do I do?

I dunno…

Spaces of nothing, complete nothingness… woooo. Oh dear, I've scared my self again. Oh well, I don't care, or do I, dum dum dum!

Doo doo dad a

La la la

Whistle whistle whistle

Butterflies

Daisies

Sunshine

I believe I can fly

**AVADA KEDAVRA!**

What the Hell is going on and, oh wait, this is just a practical joke. Ok very funny and, crucio! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

PAIN! OH AGOOOOOOOOOOOOONYYYYYYYYYY! I AM SUFFERING! SUCH PAIN, SUCH ANGUISH! OH THE PAIN, IT IS UNBEARABLE, OH MAKE IT STOP OH…. "Hey I stopped it 15 minutes ago" "But I did not start screaming 15 minutes ago" "See, it is just like an injection, doesn't hurt unless you pay attention"

Cuel

Well um due to stuff we must fill in this gap with some useless content. Have fun.

The lifelenness and deathliness of death vomitors and life eaters was a living death and… OH PLEASE NOT AGAIN! PLEASEEE!

Ok ok

OH YOU BETTER NOT CRY cause murders are weird.

Copyright violations

This document is owned by laws 1 3 allowing it to present and represent plagiarism to an extreme scale till it gets ridiculous. By harnessing the powers of this treaty the Author, (me) the publisher (fanfiction people) and readers (you) are eligible to certain priorities consulting all rights and obligations. We reserve the right to neither confirm or deny facts which issue through out the network of cyberspace as publishing and writing and reading etc. etc. are our priority. Please make sure to the fullest extent that all laws are maintained to their fullest max till all rights prior to all things which are co-related to things that are the ones who make it possible for us to continue in providing you nice and good stories for your good health. Thank you for obeying the burger eating laws. Have a good day.

Right. This is ridiculous. I think well I don't know. I don't even know 1 plus 1. boo hoo hoo! Its not fair! I hate this! This is all a conspiracy against me. Oh yes, I know. They are all against me! Oh no, what do I do, I am surrounded, I should trust no one for they are all against me. No. they are coming closer. All living day lights is being morphed and modiphied so I can spell these complikated wurds corektely. What should me do? Nothing is left. All hope is gone. They all want me, they all want me. There is no escape. This is the end. Nothing left. This is the end!

Seriously. Though there will be more chapters. Mwahaha.

Sorry for using the computer of the mcdonalds people. Oh dear, here they come, bye. B wtse helprdger grg Arwen! Ergket

The end

Although there will be more chapters. Sorry.


	6. Intel motherboard is on the fritz people

Once upon a time there was no one named Harry Potter who went to a bookstore and ordered premium fried bacon but could not because of his stomach ulcer which he had never experienced in the last ten years of his life except the Wednesday before the last, and because of this, he decided not to fry eggs for lunch as that could not kill him and he did not want to die as Voldemort was killing him already although he didn't want to because by killing him he would not be killing, so by not killing he would be killing him, according to very high level Buddhist teachings. But nonetheless there was less so I couldn't lessenify it without morofying it which would be bad for the sake of the hemophilia scoiciety which was so bad it couldn't spell scoiceity right even though I can't spell society either, but why must it conjure when it can protract, and by doing so, save the universe from the evil of Chancellor Palpatine who was good but he was evil (PALPATINE IS THE SITH LORD! AHHHHHHHHHH!) in the process which made no sense as my computer has too many squiggly red and green lines underneath every third word which is quite irritating for purely diplomatic reasons. Where were we, nowhere, so we start from everywhere and return to now where for Harry is so dumb that I don't want to write about him, other than the fact that I really like the Harry Potter books and like Harry, but I can't not write about him or them because the fanfiction admins would ban this, although I would kill them within twenty three hours, No, I didn't mean that, don't ban my account! So for the last ten years I don't care goodybye, wait, I can't say goodybye as this is the not the end and goodybye is not said at the end for goodbye is said at the end but goodybye is not said at the end, so it is not the end so therefore I should say goodybye but as nothing makes sense in this story goodybye is said at the time when it is not the end but still act like it really shouldn't be said. Now should we continue this idiotic piece of insanity, or should we drink non-congealed blood with extra plasma, but we cannot ask ourselves this as we are not vampires, well most of us aren't, but even then, I cannot help get the feeling that we are straying from the topic, what was it again, I don't know, this joke is getting old even if it isn't a joke, so let's just talk or rant or rave or whatever about that idiot Harry Potter who I really hate and I have no idea why I am writing about him, except of course that this has a lot of publicity and I really want to know who R.A.B is, wait I do know, it's the foreign minister of Sudetenland except that it can't be because Hitler already took it over and I don't know whether it's part of Germany or Poland or Czechoslovakia as Wolfowitz has resigned as world bank President, not so long ago in my time, but probably ten million years ago for the time all you future people who are reading this, unless you are reading it just a few days after this is written, although I wrote this BEFORE Wolfowitz resigned but then added this all on later as I realized that because I wrote Goodybye at the end I could not end it, even though I mentioned a sentence (Have you noticed how big these sentences are?) or two ago that in this story goodybye SHOULD be written at the end BECAUSE other than the EXCESSIVE use of capitalizations, this story makes NO sense, but that doesn't matter as I mentioned a few chapters ago (I think) that each sentence will have little to do with the sentence before, which is probably the main reason that these sentences are so long, although each word doesn't have much to do with the word before, or maybe it's just that I love commas (Long live commas!) as they are very comman to my comman (not common, ew that's disgusting…) cause of reuniting the United Nations, before splitting it up, then reuniting it again, then splitting it up again, and so on and so forth and so on and so forth, and so on and yeah. Now we should be getting back to the subject of Harry Potter as I don't want my account banned, but I can't think of what to write as he's already dead, at least you'll never know my true intentions about Ginny or whatever, who knows, maybe it will lead to World War III although I still don't understand what the double I in World War II means, maybe it means Incredibly Idiotic, as that is what it was, and it fills up about 80 pages in our History Textbooks, maybe if there was no History then the world would be a better place (No History Exams! Yippee!) as we still do not learn from the lessons of History. Now as this piece of literature (Cough) is getting exceedingly pronounced due to it's rather uncannily expanded volume and due to the fact that the biographer is trying his best to use distinguished language, so I believe it be best for humanity, and society (See, I still misspell it) if it would be the precise time to say goodybye and put a halt to the debauchery that is this narrative, even though goodybye was not meant to be said at the conclusion, but what does this matter, as this yarn has little sagacity in it anyways, so once and for all: Goodybye!


End file.
